Sooooo.... at about the two week marker Flynn started to get what I had assumed was Baby Acne or Prickly Heat. Which is just a rash like condition that most babies get primarily on their face. H-Man had a minor case when he was an infant that cleared up in less than a week. Hmmm... In Flynn's case however, it just kept getting worse and worse. And Worse. Evolving from tiny red dots into prickly feeling welts and spreading from his face to his entire head, his arms, legs, and entirely covering his chest and belly. Not Good and certainly Not Pretty. A visit with the pediatrician told us that, as it turns out, Flynner has an allergy to dairy protein - AKA as Milk Allergy. Which is not to be confused with being Lactose Intolerant. Lactose is a sugar found naturally in milk (all milks) where as Milk Allergy is caused by a reaction to a number of protein allergens in cows’ milk, such as casein and whey. Casein is the curd that forms when milk sours, and whey is the watery part that is left when the curd is removed. And wouldn'tcha know it - the only remedy: for ME to cut dairy out of MY diet.
WHAT???!!! I'm sorry... I didn't quite get that. ME Give up Dairy???
You've got to be joking.
Surely that doesn't include milk... WTF!
You want me to go without breakfast??
It's called "Cold Cereal" for a very good reason - the MILK is Cold.
And give up CHEESE??!!
Never.
As in Ain't Gonna Happen.
Ever.
I am a BIG fan of dairy. We're talking HUGE... like I'm not entirely sure I can completely convey my LOVE and Obsession with Dairy. I mean come on... how on earth can you possibly ever make it through one single meal or hell, for that matter, even a snack without consuming cheese, milk, cheese, yogurt, or more cheese??? It's inconceivable. It's impossible. Getting through the morning... let alone the whole damn day without dairy... Ugh - just the thought alone is enough to make my head spin and to twist my stomach into knots. There, you see, I'm beginning to sweat profusely. Body tremors, shaking and uncontrollable convulsions are sure to follow.
Mutha. Fucka. I feel quite faint.
And although I was seriously tempted to bitch-slap the doctor and stay safely afloat on the Denial River (where I've been spending oodles of time recently) there was just no getting around all the symptoms little Flynn was displaying. Including loose stools (gotta love that mental imagery), gagging (always pleasant), refusing food, vomiting (we're talking way beyond spitting up here folks), wheezing, and of course the really nasty skin rashes. So while I sat rocking back and forth, cradling my head and weeping inconsolably the doctor tried to tell me that most children outgrow this form of allergy by the time they're 2 years old. Like that was suppose to make it all better somehow.
Mutha Fucka.
No Dairy for the ENTIRE time I'm nursing???
That's a YEAR.
A YEAR.
A YEAR... do you hear me??
And Yes, I know my voice is cracking and I've started to sound shrill.
But COME ON!!!!
Surely you jest!!!
A whole entire YEAR??
Of course... Just one look at this handsome little face gives you the answer.
Yes.
So now I've been Dairy-Free for about 4-5 weeks. And shockingly it took more than two for all the bad proteins to leave my system... so we're really only now starting to see the major changes in little Flynner. The rash on his face and limbs is now completely gone (but these photos are from last week... so you can still see some of it here... well, you would be able to see it if the quality of these pictures were so piss poor. But that's a whole other rant entirely... the fact that my camera lens still isn't fixed... okay, okay - I'm digressing). He still has some remnants of the rash on his chest, but since that was where it got the worst it'll take longer to clear up there. No more gagging thank goodness and we're back to just the normal amount of spitting up. Phew. What a relief.
And before any of you try to get all giddy about Soy products... like I did... turns out lots of soy items actually have some dairy in them. Plus, wouldn'tcha know it, lots of babies (35% or so) have the same allergy to soy as they do to dairy proteins. Go Figure.
One thing that I've found that is really helping me... least ways through the mornings - helping me not to starve - is Almond Milk. Who knew. It has a nice vanilla flavor and isn't sweetened - Nice. Terrific on cereal! Not so great as a substitute for a big mug of milk with dinner... but you can't have it all.
And on this note I'll wrap it up.I've included a best of clip for all you Seinfeld fanatics to relive the joy of Yev Kasem (AKA: Soup Nazi) And for those of you who might have been living under a rock and don't get the whole "Soup Nazi" reference.
One of the greatest moments in the history of television.
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