It's not a huge secret that I think men dressed up like Santie Claus are Creepy, Scary and borderline Perverted. I'm not exactly sure why I feel this way... but I do. And have since I was a child. Perhaps, once upon a time, I found one of the masquerading Santa's of my youth to be just a wee bit "too" jolly? His jovial "Ho, Ho, Ho'ing" seeming more like an illicit suggestion, rather than a mark of merriment. Conjuring up shiver induced imagery and a slightly skewed interpretation of the word Ho to really be to my liking.
Basically, it all boils down to: we don't do the "Santa" gigs. As in Ever. Even Loooong before we had kids - I couldn't muster up the courage to have the dogs sit for a snapshot with Santa. I just can't help but feel Skeeved out by the whole idea - even now. Ick. Major Ick. Sooo... where do you suppose all of this is heading? Auy-Yep, Hen is suddenly Really, Really interested in the concept of Santa. Which is a good thing, sure. The concept of Santa is a sweet one... the chain smoking, pedophile, alcoholic ex convict impersonating him... yeah - Not. So. Much. To complicate matters (for me) - over the last few days H-man has been wanting to "call Santa" on his walkie talkie... today he suggested that we should talk to Santa on the telephone... and I know, from the perspiration on my brow, the looseness of my bowels and my overwhelming sense of dread I feel, that we're quickly approaching the inevitable... Not to worry though. Of course, I'll buck up and choke back the bile if and when that unpleasant situation presents itself. The real question is: Will I really and truly want a photograph of such said moment?? A photo to look back on for years to come - with a warm heart, a queasy stomach and a facial tick... oooh... decisions, decisions.
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